


For God's Sake Please

by astromirage



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Crying, Edited again to stay more true to the song, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I edited it shortly after posting because i didnt like how the ending displayed keis struggles, I need therapy, M/M, Minor Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Self-Harm, Song: Watashi no Aaru | My R, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, The author is projecting., Triggers, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, You Have Been Warned, i have a lot of issues, slight projection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27002812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astromirage/pseuds/astromirage
Summary: Kei hopes that the roof is clear of other people.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 16





	For God's Sake Please

**Author's Note:**

> Hella trigger warnings for self harm and suicide! Please click away if you didn't heed the tags! I'm begging.

Kei opens the door to the roof, his eyes burn and his muscles scream from tiredness. He'd finally do it. He'd be free of the emotions that shackle him to his trauma and his trust issues, finally. He'd no longer be weighed done by his constant dark thoughts and feelings. 

He walks all the way to the other side of the roof only to be met with a boy with a small, blonde ponytail standing on his tiptoes, leaning over the ledge, teetering on falling off. 

"Hey! Don't do it, please!" 

'Wait, what did I just say?' Kei asks himself dumbfounded, he truly didn't care if the blonde ponytail boy killed himself. In fact Kei feels rage fill him, he longs to jump over that railing. He's missed an opportunity.

The boy turns, he quirks a thin eyebrow and chuckles sadly. Kei clutches his fists in anger and stands next to him. He looks at him expectantly for some reason. 

"You've probably heard it all before. I really thought we were perfect, maybe he was the one, then he fucking broke up with me. I thought I finally had it." he smiles through his waterfall of white hot tears. 

"For God's sake are you fucking kidding me? For some stupid reason you got here before I did, and your reason for being here is because you can't have what you want?!" He screams, gripping the railing until his knuckles go white. "Have you ever been robbed of something?" He pauses, looking at the shocked boy "Have you?" 

The boy shakes his head and turns away from the railing "I feel better now, thank you for listening."

The boy with a small blonde ponytail walks away. 

-

Kei makes the trek up to the roof once again, he knows today is his day, he slides off his shoes and gets ready to vault over the railing before he sees a thin, lanky boy sitting on the thick edge. 

"Hey! Don't do it, please!" 

Kei mentally facepalms and sits down close to the boy.

"You've probably heard it all before. I just don't fit in here. Everyone hates me and they're right in doing so, but it just feels so isolating. I think that it'd just be easier if I ended it all." 

"For God's sake! You can't be serious, you dense bitch! For some idiotic reason you're here before me! You have a home where everyone loves you and you always have food on the table when you get home!" 

The boy wipes away a long, fat tear and gets up. He puts on his shoes again, "I am quite hungry." he smiles and the thin, lanky boy walks away unsteadily. 

-

Everytime Kei decides today he's going to do it, he ends up listening to someone's sob story and talking a boy away from the damn ledge. 

His body shakes pathetically as the cuts in his arms ooze blood, in the corner of his bathroom he thinks about how there's no way anyone would listen to him. There'd never be a way for him to let out all of his built up pain. There would never be someone to pull him from the ledge. 

-

Kei exhaustedly looks at a boy with the same exact pain and tiredness he has and he sighs vacantly. 

He knew how this was going to go, he'd done this too many times to count. 

He looks at the boys blue cardigan as he sobs quietly. "I just want everything to stop. Everytime I go home the scars multiply. I want the pain and hurt and sadness to stop. That's why I'm here. Maybe it will finally stop." 

"Please don't do it!" Kei shouts, he covers his mouth quickly, it didn't matter either way to him. 

Kei knows he can't make this boy stop, he collapses onto his knees. This helpless feeling is new and Kei doesn't like it. He's bitten off more than he can chew this time. He begs the world for the boy to leave him alone so he wouldn't have to look at the boy's pitiful expression. Kei feels tears roll down his face. It's all too much for him, he clutches the sides of his head as he sobs loudly. 

"Today isn't my day." the boy in the blue cardigan says, turning from the railing and walking away. 

-

Kei smiles as he sees that no one is on the roof. He carefully takes off his shoes and sets a note in one. 

It's finally time. 

It's finally time to be free. 

There's no one to beg him off the ledge. 

No one. 

It's just him. 

Kei throws off his blue cardigan and watches it hit the roof's concrete floor. 

He lets his small blonde ponytail down from its ribbon. 

This thin, lanky boy is finally going to jump and be free. 

He feels the wind whip at his face, making his tears fly away and his hair flow behind him. 

He takes his first inch of a step before someone grabs his bandaged wrist and yanks him back. 

"Tsukki, don't do it please." Tadashi begs, hugging him close. 

Kei feels his eyes flood once again and he goes limp in the boy's arms. 

Tadashi quietly muttering "don't do it please" echoes in Kei's head as he lays on the cold concrete floor. 


End file.
